Writing five novels in November for Nanowrimo, actually entering the 3 Day Novel Contest, moving from Kansas to Arkansas in May. Having the best holidays of my life this year over Christmas too. No, I don't wish I could do it all over again, I'm glad the moving is done. I expect to go on writing lots of novels in future too.

Rhiannon
8" x 10"
Pan Pastels on Sand color Art Spectrum Colourfix

Painted from one of my photos and from life. She's so cute she doesn't even look like a real dog, more like a plushie toy dog. Till she barks and wiggles and runs around. I really like her, even though I'm much more into cats than dogs. Finally did a portrait of one of the family canines!

I'm happy with my 2009, lots of things accomplished and it was generally a low-stress year.

Looking back at the resolutions I made, I accomplished some and made progress in others. I can't say I totally bombed on any of them.

Did I finish the novel I wanted to? No, but I worked on it and have come to the realization that I have to be a better writer, scrap what I have and start over again.

Did I write 4 short stories? No, but I did write 1. It's the first short story I have ever finished.

Did I pay off some of our credit cards? Yes. Go us.

Did I save money? Yes, but it's scanty since we put the kids in Hebrew School this year.

Did I make holiday gifts for everyone? No, but I did give hand made gifts to 9 people (out of 28).

Did I work with the kids to keep the house tidier? Yes. It helps that they are getting older and more responsible (at least a little more).

Did I continue to exercise and eat well? Not so much. Sometimes yes, but many times no. The good news is that we have a treadmill being delivered tomorrow.



How did your year go? What did you do that was great in 2009?

It's about time for another iconpost. I guess. Because I made more of people who need more icons that ought to be better than mine.

Saffron Burrows - 34
Robert Carlyle - 33
Dominic Keating - 31

( destination not you my one )

Usually it's a let-down. This year it's not -- the holidays were so low-key and happy without stress that I'm not getting a big crash afterward. I'm just enjoying the day.

A White Wolf
7" x 9 1/2"
Cretacolor pastel pencils on Anthracite color ClaireFontaine PastelMat coated pastel card.

This one's my gift for Karl, who's very fond of wolves and also of the White Wolf roleplaying games. It took a lot of searching to find the right wolf reference and I'm happy with him, the background's mostly from imagination and took some surprising turns. Because he looked so good on black, I wound up doing a very dark scene with the wolf the lightest element, that was so much fun!

Miss Gemini in the Window
6 1/2" x 8 3/4"
Cretacolor pastel pencils on brown ClaireFontaine PastelMat
Photo reference is mine, posted for a challenge on the December 2009 Pastel Strokes event in the Soft Pastel Talk forum on WetCanvas.com where I set the challenge of "change the light." I took the photo at night, that was when Gemini decided to pose and be cute in the window. I changed the scene to daylight and happily had the real cat sitting near me (and moving around a lot) so I could color correct her from the photo to accurate likeness.

This wouldn't have mattered so much if I wasn't doing it as a direct portrait of that cat where it was important to get her colors and markings as true as possible. If I was just doing her as a nice cat picture and didn't know her, I might have changed her markings or colors easily to suit the painting. But I did have her to model and even though she didn't sit still, she purred for me. Also Kitten helped by holding the picture way across the room when I asked her to, so that I'd see it at a distance and know what needed to be done next.

I'm happy with how it came out including the background. I simplified the window view but successfully got the Arkansas sky intensity even in winter and the wooden window shelf the cats lay or sit on, even the color of the wall is close to true.

I have just spent the happiest Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning of my life today. The kids were wonderful, they happily played with their presents, got all excited about everything and shared the candy from their stockings. Gabriel and Sascha loved the books I got them. Sascha identified half a dozen dinosaurs in Dinotopia on sight and Gabriel studiously turned pages in The Lion and The Mouse and enjoyed it.

They both chased New Puppy Rhiannon around and around at high speed laughing. There were no tears, no screams, no squabbles, just happy giggling and occasional singing of Jingle Bells with unique words and tune. Plus of course the deep voiced electronic announcement of Sascha's cherished new toy giving his identity: "I am Optimus Prime."

Gabriel listened a few times and then squared up his shoulders, looked all big and tough and said "I am Optimus Prime" in as deep a voice as he could manage! It was great!

No, nothing from my childhood. I have holiday traditions that we're creating now during my grandchildrens' childhood and every one of them is precious. We're creating new ones every year and this year's holidays were the best in my life.

So how about The Haul, eh? Well I got the Star Trek: Destiny trilogy (YESSSSS), Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games for the Wii, Sonic Rush, The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook (my brother thought I would enjoy it since I have the zombie one, no telling yet if this book takes itself as seriously), and Drunken Lullabies and Float both by Flogging Molly. The 'family' also got Half-Blood Prince and an epic neck massaging thing. Also the usual scratchoff tickets, a pen and a pencil in some epic little box, and cash.

...I'm half-tempted to go back to bed to see if I can go back to dreaming of Rush being my computer programming professor. <6 hours of sleep Christmas morning was not my brightest idea.

TWO MORE THINGS:

OH MY GOOOODDDDD DO WANT NEED

and made a fanmix

And one more thing: why is it so impossible to watch a movie in this house in peace if you're not watching it on your computer? I finally got around to popping in Priest, because how can I resist the lure of Robert Carlyle kissing other pretty men, and I eventually moved from the living room (where I kept getting interrupted) to the basement (where dad came down to play a game, my brother came down to get wrapping paper, and mum came down just to come down). Now I find that most of it's uploaded onto youtube, so at least I can watch the hot sex scene and all the pretty kissing scenes however many times I want.

Oh, and it's also a surprisingly fabulous movie as a whole, too. ;P

• 18:37 Happy Christmas Eve everyone! :) #

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So today...sucked. It sucked before I even woke up, because I dreamed about dead puppies. Then discovered that I had had my period at some point while I was asleep, which never happens, which is why I hadn't put any lining in. Grumped at my brother all morning because I was trying to find a clean pair of pajama bottoms and he insisted that I needed to come discuss who was getting dad what for christmas. Had a dentist appointment where, despite the TSO and the awesome nurse, I apparently have my first cavity. Which the dentist did not tell me until the receptionist was trying to find a date so he can do something about it. (In March. Which I didn't think was so bad except that I just found where the cavity is, and to find some of your tooth missing right by the gumline is really freaky.) Mum had taken me there, and then took me to Dick's so I could get dad some golf stuff, and we got, predictably, stuck in a shitton of traffic. I did wrap all of my presents (I feel lame for only getting one thing for everyone--well, technically a couple things but all wrapped in one gift) and re-re-re-rediscovered that I really suck at even wrapping simple cubic shapes.

AUGH

I was originally waiting until I had finished watching the whole of Full Metal Panic before I posted, because a review is in the works, but things have happened and I still haven’t finished, so it’s being put off!

So. Yesterday I took my driving exam.

I awoke early in the morning—about four—by cat-nuzzle to the face.

Toph: HI.
Me: Back, demon of the night! I must have my rest for tomorrow!
Toph: Liek pet me naoz lol omg lol.

Perturbed, I lay back down. Two seconds later (it felt like):

Mother: WAKE UP.

And I ran about like a crazy person, trying to get all my stuff together, before we set off! For this was my one shot at getting my license, before I left for Ohio. All my hours of last-minute driving and instruction, it all boiled down to this one crucial time. It was a nice day, with clear conditions and INSANE DRIVERS.

Drivers: Lololol tailgating/cutting off/swerving lololol.
Me: WHO LET YOU OUT OF YOUR CAGES.

We left early, because we had come to the conclusion that I had done the majority of my driving in my teacher’s car, a large, ungainly thing, quite unlike my Sweet Thing. Like, parallel parking! I had not done that in my car.

Begin laughing now.

I tried a few times. It doesn’t help that there’s a snowbank up against most every curb, because we live in the Assload of Snow State.

Me: This does not bode well!
Mother: I wouldn’t pass you, and you’re my daughter.
Me: …not helping…

So we went to the exam-taking place, and after failing to back into the parking space indicated five times (while being stared at by everyone including the examiner gods I cringe), my mother went to cancel.

But wait! A ray of hope?

The examiner shared the same name as my mother! It is a very uncommon name, and one that any person who has it can use as a bonding method!

The examiner, unable to officially help me, remarked that her kids had been taught by the Lovely B, and promised to return that afternoon.

The Lovely B, in a stroke of luck, had had a student cancel on her.

IT ALL COMBINED TO GIVE ME HOPE.

(because at this point I was having a mental breakdown, curled in a corner and trembling with whimpers. The guilt, man! The awful idea that I would not pass, and thus had wasted my parents time and I JUST SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN BORN I AM SO USELESS.)

And thus I had a crash course rather last-minute, but very helpful! I ended up parking perfectly every time! So when the time came in the exam to parallel park, after sweeping victory in every other aspect…

I BACKED INTO THE SNOWBANK AGAIN.

In a moment of what I think was pure pity, she let me do it again. AND I NAILED IT, OH YEAH.

So I have my shiny new temporary license, and must return tomorrow to get the real deal. Apparently they require birth certificates now? Terribly annoying, especially since my mother has apparently LOST MINE. The Birthers will be coming for me next.

Anyway, it was a very long and stressful day, with far too much driving. I came home and fell asleep immediately for a few hours, before rousing myself, and being unable to get back to sleep, as you may have guessed.

In other news, I finished the semester, my GPA dropping just a tad, *mutters darkly and glares at sci-fi teacher* and moving will commence in two or three days. No, I haven’t begun packing yet. Pray for me.

I just thought I had missed the last xkcd comic, so I went to the site and read it. Then I clicked previous and realized that I had read that one. Going to Google reader revealed that the new one, the one I had just read, had just popped up in my feed. GO ME.

One day I will catch up on LJ. That or I'll just give up and start reading again.

I don't have cable any more or watch television at all. Back when I did, I liked "It's A Wonderful Life" because of its suicide theme and "A Christmas Carol" in all its iterations. The last few years though, good ones have been less likely to show up and my favorites didn't air at all so I didn't miss it when I stopped getting cable. I might buy a couple of these classics someday.

Estemmenosuchus Swamp Scene
5" x 7"
Pen and watercolor on watercolor paper.

Finished at last! Painting this was very tricky and involved a lot of reworking to get it just right. Unfortunately the scan dropped some light colors to white -- that golden color on the tree trunks that's glazed sunlight is actually all the way down the lit areas, not patches of white, while the white reflections on the water are actually a pale greenish blue. It looks a bit better in life.

Also, the horizon shades to a light gold with pretty dawn colors rather than shading to white the way it looks in the scan. Frustrating when I can't actually get the colors right when posting something. This one may not get turned into prints if the color's that inaccurate.

I decided that those extravagant horns were a mating display and would look good in red, drawing attention to this magnificent vegetarian crocodile from the opposite sex. So this is a male one in full flush of mating display. Some other patches of the red appear in his mottled back patterns. It was one of the largest creatures of its time and about as fearless with predators as a healthy moose, it didn't need to camouflage itself.

So here he is -- Estemmenosuchus mirabilis, with a salad in his mouth!

Finally checked my grades:
Lit - A
English - A
Chem - A-
Algebra - B+
Trig - B
GPA - 3.60

JOY!

In other news: my brother's home, he still needs to shop, I still need to get dad a gift. We decided not to drag down the big tree from the attic (which is a fucking MESS after we got the roof redone earlier in the year), so we got this little thing with a couple lights and ornaments to put in the corner. Mum won a 32" HD flatscreen of awesome that we're gonna set up in the living room (and haul the massive monstrosity from grandma and grandpa) sometime probably after Christmas. It was suggested it be put in my room, only we all realize that there's seriously no room for something like that, especially something THAT SIDE. Plus, I do not need a tv in my room kthnx. And SyFy canceled the SGU marathon on Christmas daaaay. *pouts* Still trying to get my bro to sit down and watch XI... Oh yeah, and I managed to pick up Priest and The Fall from the library, so I'll get Robert Carlyle kissing guys and Lee Pace being fantabulously awesome.

I THINK THAT ABOUT COVERS THINGS AT THE MOMENT.

Since I moved in with my daughter Kitten, holidays have been a lot of fun. They have bright moments now, this year it was hearing my granddaughter Sascha sing Jingle Bells and not know all the words, filling in nonsense syllables where she didn't know it. She didn't sing quite the same tune that everyone knows either, though I like her tune. It was a tune, not off key or anything -- just creatively different. With my three year old grandson singing along with it mostly in nonsense syllables.

They are cool. I used to get severely depressed around the holidays, usually the whole month of December. Most years it was pretty bad. I think the worst were when I was homeless either in the shelter or crashing with people, or when I lived alone and didn't know anyone in the area. It's not a time of year to be lonely and not have family. It's really rough on anyone who doesn't have family.

It makes a huge difference if some of your friends don't have family, to drop by and spend some time with them. Bringing a small card or present can mean so much. I'm not saying spend a lot of money -- if it was handmade it meant even more, if it was something you drew or came up with or did as a project. You know who your friends are.

If any of them are homeless, those are the ones most in need of a friend at the holidays. It's some help when charities get out with a turkey and some dollar store presents. It means more if you come down there to visit your friend and give them something personal, something that you know that friend likes a lot. It can be from the dollar store but if it's something that you know they'd like and enjoy even if they were employed and had a real apartment, that's what touches the heart.

There was a kid that started a charity for homeless children, to give a piece of luggage and a stuffed animal to every homeless child in America. I loved that kid's idea. She visited a shelter and talked to kids there. She found out most of them really wanted something to pack what things they had in, living out of a trash sack was incredibly depressing. So she started getting donated sports bags and inexpensive luggage from companies, set up a nonprofit to fund it, she had managed to reach about a third of the homeless children in the country when I read the article a few years ago.

It stuck in my mind as the most thoughtful gift for any friend who's homeless -- if you give them a piece of luggage that's not ripped or ratty that they can keep their things in, it feels more like staying in a hotel. Often people need to move constantly from shelter to shelter, a decent looking backpack or sports bag can make the difference between people staring at them or no one noticing. For adults, I wouldn't necessarily put a stuffed animal in it but I would put in something that's a toy.

Just something personal like a paperback in a genre they love or scarf in their favorite team colors or maybe yeah the teddy bear or plushie if it's a woman who liked plushies. Plushie Cthulhu would be great for a science fiction fan.

That's just my thought on depression and the season -- homeless shelters are grim places. I have a happy place to be this year with little voices singing the New Jingle Bells with the new words that include La la la lo lo lo lu lu lu lu lay... but I remember the years that I wasn't. The worst part of being officially homeless was being cut off from everyone I knew, though I didn't know at the time that some people were looking for me. It would've made a big difference if I'd known that.

• 22:25 Just posted a vlog... www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUVENzL2N40 #

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